Awake

It isn’t easy. Especially at 3 a.m. Awakening to one’s deeper self…the hidden fears, anger, and grief ( as Michael Brown addresses in his “The Presence Process”). And it’s not like I haven’t been aware (or awake) to all of this. It began when I was young, bewildered, terrified, perplexed, curious, longing, searching…and now here I am, not young…and brought to my knees at the Altar of Truth. Alone. So very, very alone. And yet, none of us are. There’s the rub. Not alone. Easy to say. Hard to live. Especially as a woman in this culture. And at age 66. And yet I am not old. But I am divorced. Have no children. No connection in tht regard. Nothing to tether me to this floating world. No extended family. No reason to show up. It is what it is. What I need is what I have (which apparently is no one). The ego flips and flops on the shore of realization, gasping for air. Thank you, Byron Katie, for The Work.

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